Sleep on It

Sleep is essential, yet many of us don’t get the kind of quality sleep we need to be at our best. Since we spend one-third of our lives on a mattress, wouldn’t it make sense to get a good one?

My life partner got a cheap mattress from a large Swedish brand last year. He lasted a week, then returned it. Instead, he invested in a superior mattress that feels like you are floating.

When DreamZe2015-05-14 11.57.36bra approached me to test out their mattress, I felt a mixture of pleasure and trepidation. A Danish brand, DreamZebra is an online-only company that sells its mattresses worldwide. Ranging from a single to a king-sized mattress, their selection offers something for everyone. You even get a ten year guarantee as an added bonus.

So I ceremoniously performed what they call “the unboxing;” delivered in a large box, the mattress is vacuum-packed in plastic. It reminded me of the Swedish brand’s mattress that my love and I also liberated from its sheath. To my surprise, DreamZebra’s mattress is much thicker, its material of much higher quality and, quite frankly, it’s dreamy “hugging” just made me smile.

Enjoy this rare product video. It’s time to spend a night’s rest in peace.

 

The Joy Choice

No matter what is swirling about you and the squeeze you feel from it- train strikes, illness, pending surgeries or demanding clients — there is always room for joy.

In fact, I have found when I make the conscious choice for joy over suffering that everything works out. Miracle or Universal law? I’d say it’s the latter.

Want to know a secret? Things always work out just as they should, whether we are fretting about them or not. But as life unfolds, we can decide how we are going to feel about it. The joy choice requires a certain level of mental discipline. When standing at the precipice between upset and acceptance, we can ask ourselves: “How do I want to feel about this?” Sometimes I actively choose to feel bad about it. I wrangle. I wrestle. I rant. I rave. And after I have exhausted all my emotional options of negativity, I standing panting in the middle of the room. The only thing that has changed is my brain chemistry. And I’m pretty darn tired from the rage of it all.

Other times  I actively choose joy. I take each moment and drink the nectar of beauty. When negative thoughts come into my mind, I ask them where their invitation to my party is. They blink. They stutter. They turn on their heels and leave.

It is marvelous to have that level of control over your own experience.

Another thing that helps is looking at what is going right in the face of what I perceive to be going wrong. That’s when my focus shifts and that which I think is wrong actually turns out to be a lovely piece of the entire picture.

As my friend Simone likes to say, life is always right. So why do we spend so much time fighting against it?

Opting for joy has been the best decision of my life. And you, my dear friends, are invited to my joy party any time you like. Won’t you join me?

Of Mountains and Molehills

Some days we get caught completely off guard by the littlest things. They suddenly become giants that loom large over us. Try as we might, we can’t quite see the mountain as the molehill it is. We are shrunk to the size of a pinhead, lost in the morass of daily living.

I would like to think of myself as a person of high tolerance, someone who isn’t thrown off track so easily. But when multiple little things pile up, all those molehills resemble Mount Everest.

Are you with me on this?

In times like these, I ask myself a simple question: “What can I learn from this moment?” It isn’t easy to find that question amongst the fumes in my head as I steam about the injustice of it all. Yet every time I pose the question, the answer emerges almost immediately.

Clearing the eyes to see and the ears to hear: it may be the greatest lesson of all.

Life is our grandest teacher; all those molehills are the learning tools to get us to see beyond ourselves to the greater Wholeness of All Things. They are the stepping stones up the mountain. Each pace forward has the ability to bring us more joy, more abundance and more gratitude.

So think of life’s challenges as your training ground to reach the summit. And when you finally get there, you will have the wherewithal to truly enjoy the view.

 

Junk in the Trunk

According to United Nations University, the world created 41.8 million tons of electro-trash last year. Who was at the top of the list?

The United States: A whopping 7.1 million tons of old computers, laptops, smartphones, television sets and more stemmed from US households in 2014 alone. The study argues that, per capita, the US created less junk (22.1 kg per person) than the UK (23.5 kg per person). But if we were to take that argument, Australia would be up there with them (20 kg per person, but with “only” 500,000 tons of electro-trash). And China, that behemoth of electronic gadget manufacturing, tosses 6 million tons a year out the window. With 1.4 billion people, China’s average drops to 4.4 kg per person.
Infografik: Jeder Deutsche produziert 21,6  kg Elektroschrott im Jahr | Statista

More statistics (in German) at Statista

The statistics are distressing for many reasons. Our behavior is not only bad for the environment, but it also presents a broader issue of our relentless consumption for All Things Gadget-Like. At the risk of sounding nostalgic, I pine for the days when the only video games we could play were at an arcade. When your quarters ran out, you were done. Today we are on a never-ending cycle of data transfer from thumb to brain and back again.

I am just as guilty as the rest. My old PC is gathering dust in the corner. Should I sell it? Would anyone take it? Could I donate it to someone?

US-based charity organizations are emerging to handle some of the electro-trash we create. Hope Phones is a charity that safely recycles your phone to fund healthcare programs in Africa, Asia and Latin America. Phones4Charity is another organization that works with affiliate groups to donate cell phones for good. In Europe the European Recycling Platform helps organize compliance and recycling efforts for electro-trash and more.

So it’s not all doom and gloom. A lot has been done to reduce our electronic footprint on the Earth. But a lot more can be done. Recycle your stuff. Mindfully remove all that junk from the trunk. And think twice before buying more gadgets than your thumbs can handle at once.

Silencing the Hum of Fear

The subconscious mind can do a real number on us. Humming just beneath the surface of things, it can haunt, taunt and tattle-tale on us in ways we don’t even realize. That is, until we calm it with a visualization exercise or meditation.

Yesterday a dear friend of mine did what she calls a feelingization with me around a issue I’ve been dealing with for several months. Within fifteen minutes she helped me morph my fears into love by suggesting I focus on a time when I felt deep gratitude. After bathing in the glow of that sensation for a moment, she had me move to a time when I felt deep love.  She allowed me then to name my fears, place them in a golden cup and illuminate them with light.

To me, gratitude is the stepping stone to love. You are awash with it when you give thanks for all that is good about your life. I would go far as to say gratitude is a life-sustaining component for a life well lived. When we focus on what is going right and on what we have, we move from the have-nots to the haves in an instant.

In fact, it really isn’t even about what you have that matters. What matters is what you think about what you have.

Consider a time when you were mad at someone. You tend to concentrate only on the incident — or the feelings that the incident brought up. But if you take a moment to look at the broader picture, you might shift your focus on all the good things that person has done. And the incident gets reduced to the size it deserves.

An attitude of gratitude brings us back to our center. And gratitude brings us love, which heals our fears like nothing else can. To move front and center into love we must remember that to have love we must give it.

Love can exist anywhere at any time.

Love starts with you.

 

The Journey’s Way

Plans are a wonderful point of orientation, but like any roadmap, they change over time. New roads are added. Old ones turn to dust. Anyone with an outdated navigation system will tell you not all roads lead to Rome. Sometimes they take you down dead ends or endless traffic rotaries. Even if you were intending to go to point A, you sometimes land at point B instead.

The journey is the destination, not the end point on a map. And although we often live as though the most important thing comes at the end of one’s travels, the things that happen during those travels are the essence of our existence.

MoonWhenever I am confronted with life’s challenges, I say a prayer of gratitude for the fruits those lessons will bear — even before I receive or fully understand them. I live with a deep faith that everything happens for a reason – but oh! When that faith is lost! That’s when the turmoil begins. Faith and trust are the foundation for your engine’s happiness — gratitude greases the wheel.

When I was knee-deep in writing The Power of Slow, my sister shared a beautiful mantra with me: “Trust the process.” It is about opening your eyes to what is really in front of you instead of watching the film that is in your head.

We are all owners of our very own head-based movie theater in which our films get played over and over again. We react to the world through the lens of that movie theater camera. Sometimes our films take us to beautiful, exotic places, but most of the time the repeated movie performances lead us down those dead ends to the land of the lost. And when that happens, it’s time to change the film roll to a new one that serves us better.

While many of us pine for a better future with the supposedly comforting saying “One day my ship will come in,” I say why wait for that ship when you’re already on it? If you don’t like the direction it is taking you, steer it in a new direction.

You can weather any storm, my friends. You really can — if you believe.

 

The Shocking Truth of Gadget Usage

Their heads were bowed. Their eyes were lowered. For a moment, I thought Manhattanites were in mourning again. Only it wasn’t 2001. It was 2008. And everyone I saw on the street was looking at their smartphones.

I haven’t lived in the United States since 2003, but every time I visit my family there, I am amazed at the changes I see. The Digital Revolution hit the streets of New York well before it hit any part of Germany, or so it seemed at the time as I cruised through Times Square in my airport shuttle bus.

Just a few years later, our gadget usage has become so extreme that we multitask constantly.

At the end of November 2014, Discovery Communications reported that 82% of its viewers checked their smartphones while watching television. I see my kids doing it. Sometimes I am tempted to do it too.

Split-screen living is nothing new. Maggie Jackson lamented about the pull of our gadgets in her book Distracted in 2008. On a rainy spring day in New York City, I met with her after her book came out. She helped me formulate some of my thoughts on our digital gadget usage that later became part of The Power of Slow.

And now this: According to a recent Nielson study, Americans use electronic media more than 11 hours a day. If you sleep for eight hours, that is only 5 hours without electronic input.

Yikes.

If I am to believe my eyes (and not this study), people use their smartphones for more than 1.25 hours a day. We use them for everything — for entertainment, business, personal messaging and even for getting up in time in the morning. I am as guilty as the next, checking emails while waiting in line, updating my status on nature walks and life-caching when the mood strikes.

We are living in a Brave New World. Maggie Jackson was right. Our attention is eroding. Mindful living is at risk.

 

Infographic: Americans Use Electronic Media 11+ Hours A Day | Statista

You will find more statistics at Statista

If you think it is any different in Germany, well, it is not. More than half the population uses a smartphone now.

So what can we do?

  • Leave your phone the next time you head for the hills (or the woods).
  • Conduct a digital diet. Turn your phone off (all the way — airplane modus doesn’t count) for at least an hour each day.
  • Free yourself from Facebook. A few months ago I spent seven days Facebook-free and was amazed at how much leisure time I suddenly had.
  • Read. Don’t know a good book? If you like a good love story, pick up a copy of  Me Before You by Jojo Moyes or The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion.
  • Exercise (sex counts!).

Life is about more than ‘likes’ and texts. It is about personal connection and affection. Put down your phone and look your kid in the eye the next time he asks you a question.

Get offline and into life. Every day.

It is the Journey, Not its Destination

Computers get tired. Smartphones too. Every once in a while they get sluggish after all the work they’ve done. They need to be switched off, left alone for a little while and given a chance to reorganize all the information we have put into them.

The human mind is no different. On occasion we too need time to reboot.

It is uncomfortable to move outside of the familiar. In fact, it can be downright terrifying. “What if’s” crop up in our heads like dandelions on a lawn. We grip the ledge of our dreams, hoping we never, ever make a mistake. But missteps and errors are every part of the process. The most painful part is not in taking action, but in our own judgements about those actions.

Take time off? Fire a major client? Rethink what’s next without a safety net?

Major life changes don’t usually happen in an instant. They are typically the product of years of thinking, dreaming and wishing things were different. Then one day you wake up and discover they can be. Sometimes all it takes then is one decision that will turn your life around forever.

The cool thing is that one decision then leads to another and another and another. And before you know it, you are a decision-making machine. You suddenly find yourself in flow, cruising down the River of Life, riding the white waters with ease and grace. Those scary rapids don’t seem so scary after all when you come face to face with them. In fact, the roar of the water gives you great courage to move forward – for what other chance do you have but to bring them into your fold?

Have you ever tried resisting a river current or an ocean wave? Most of the time Nature has its way. It is the same in life.

As my wise thirteen-year-old son recently said, “You have freedom of choice and can decide which path to take, but the truth is you will end up where you are meant to be either way. It is the journey you determine, not its destination.”

I’m in for the ride. Are you?

The Bud Before the Bloom

The light hit my face with an intensity I hadn’t felt in months as the sky filled the world with a new kind of preciousness.

Spring had finally come.

Do you know the feeling that you are about to burst with something completely new, utterly surprising, absolutely amazing, like a bud before the bloom? You have no evidence that something incredible is about to happen, but you just know it will? It lies deep within your inner knowing and it makes you smile as you take a peek at the potential before you.

magic of springWhen we live with the anticipation of wonderfulness, it is as if that wonderful thing has already happened. We then attract even more wonderfulness and pretty soon our entire lives have shifted because of that one decision to believe that our dreams will come true.

It takes:

  • Complete acceptance of the moment. Live it fully. Know that you are exactly where you should be. Right now.
  • A full release of any expectation that things should be different,  but a knowing that you can change things any time you want.
  • An embrace of your personal responsibility. You are the master of your ship. Where do you want it to go?
  • A deep listening to your inner voice. You can only hear it in stillness. So be still. Often.
  • An unshakable belief in yourself and in the fulfillment of dreams.

Waiting for wonders isn’t a bad thing. In fact, you experience them every day if you have the eyes to see them. It isn’t the big ones that deserve our attention, but the tiny miracles that unfold with every breath we take.

 

The Naked Turtle

Sometimes it takes a good long while for things to sink in. You go days, weeks, months, struggling with an issue that just won’t let you go. You wrestle with it this way and that. You wake up suddenly at 2 a.m., thoughts holding your mind hostage until the wee dawn light.

Then, a sliver of realization slits your brain wide open. It filters through you like light piercing through a room gone dark too long.

“What if I were to simply let this entire thing go? Walk away. Say goodbye. Turn a corner. Never look back. Move forward. Take a whole new path?”

It’s a frightening notion indeed.

But then you see you really have no choice. The realization is there, standing in front of you like a war-weary soldier. You cannot ignore it. In fact, you cannot look away. You feel the shudder of truth ring through you.

In that moment, vulnerability enters the room. You are stripped of every mask, every reason why it should not be so. You are a naked turtle without its shell, completely exposed to That Which Is.

It is a moment of liberation from your hibernation. And it takes courage to see that moment through to the next one, which calls for you to act on the very thing that scares you most.

When faced with difficult situations, I often get nervous. My heart starts to pound; my palms start to sweat. But then I ask myself: “What am I afraid of losing?” The answer is always the same. “The only thing I have to lose is my own fear.”

It is worth taking off that mask to reveal your true self. In fact, in calling forth that part of you, you have already emerged a little stronger than you were before. Along with such experiences comes the marvelous opportunity to show empathy for others who are struggling too.

We are in this together. Our shells may provide us protection, but they also hinder the good stuff from coming in too.

It’s time to get naked.

Now.