The Law of Attraction

If you have ever been to Venice, you know that it is one of the most beautiful, crowded, tourist-infested cities in the world. It has so many bridges and narrow passageways that you simply have to let go of any expectation that you’ll ever find the same place twice.

Foto-5It is also extraordinarily expensive. So my budget-conscious travelling companion and I decided we’d simply manifest the perfect place for dinner by making a request of the Universe.

It had to have outdoor seating, away from the suffocating foot traffic. It had to offer a good meal, but under a certain price. And the wait staff needed to be really friendly (we had met several who were not).

Within thirty minutes we had found the perfect place. It even had free WiFi!

Throughout our four-day journey, we continued to manifest experiences that we wanted to have, learning from each of them and experiencing the pure joy of being one with the Universe.

It was marvelous.

If you truly want something, define what it is. Don’t be shy. Remove doubt. Go for it whole hog.

You have to be clear and specific. When you are, you will be surprised about what, and who, will show up to take care of things for you.

At another place we wanted seafood. We opted for some on our pizza. But the waiter was reluctant to serve it because, in his words, it wasn’t good for him. A French couple at a neighboring table ordered a huge pan of seafood on a bed of spaghetti. After thirty minutes, our food still hadn’t arrived so they offered us the rest of theirs!

The Law of Attraction at work.

It helped that we spoke French with them. At least, they understood what we said. And they were kind, even if the waiter wasn’t.

On the final night, we approached a restaurant that we just knew would give us the dining experience we were looking for. The waiter spoke incredibly good German, which was astounding.

It turns out he lived in Freiburg for 17 years. I’m moving there this summer.

He is the third person I’ve met in recent months who is in love with the place where I am about to live.

It is a sign. It’s the law of attraction, and all the Universal goodness that is supporting our path as we continue this journey called Life.

Open yourself up to gratitude. Declare that your life will be amazing. How could it not be, my dear friends? You are in it!


The Third Eye

Something strange has happened. I see things. Then they come true.

It’s spooky, really. Usually those messages come in the form of words or pictures, sometimes in the form of sound. I get a sensation, stop, listen, and have an overwhelming feeling about what’s going to happen next.

It freaked my daughter out as she excitedly tried to have me guess what grade she got on a recent science test.

“Guess, Mom. Go ahead. You never will!”

I did.

She seemed disappointed, like someone had taken the wind from her sails. I didn’t mean to. It’s just that saw it in my mind’s eye, that Third Eye we all have that sees things as clear as day if we choose to look.

The Third Eye is the organ that sees the Big Picture. It’s the one that pays no attention to the daily dramas that cloud our vision. It is the one that gets down to business when everyone else is at a loss as to what to do.

It is the one that simply knows.

I swear the Third Eye has magic powers! Sometimes I will get waves of knowingness, a warm feeling that washes over me. That’s usually when someone I love is about to reach out to me.

Or I’ll suddenly feel really confident; then fortune comes my way in the form of a new client,an unexpected check in the mail, or even a free lunch.

On some days, I wake up with an unshakable feeling that something amazing is going to happen.

And guess what?

It does.

We may all be fortune tellers of our own making if we choose to live life in the space of possibility. If we think dark thoughts, rain clouds come, even when the sun is shining. A lot of it is attitude, but it is also about attunement to your inner voice that speaks when you take the time to listen. It’s about looking through the lens of your Third Eye so you can truly see.

You may think you can live without the Third Eye, but you are mistaken. It really is the basis of the life we are  meant to lead.

And that glorious life, my dear heart, starts with you.


Soul Time

“The soul doesn’t wear a watch,” yoga expert and HuffPost blogger Ashley Turner recently wrote.

Having undergone severe heartache last year, she took time off to reflect, go inward and heal from her loss while eliminating any extraneous input from the outside world.

She reminds me of myself.

A year ago I stopped watching TV. I rarely listen to the radio. I am careful with whom I spend time. After reading about Ashley’s own experience, I realized it was my soul, ripped wide open, that needed a special kind of time, but not the conceptual type of time embedded in Chronos, that linear, 12 0’clock, 1 o’clock, 2 o’clock narrow understanding of time “marching on”. Chronos is an external mechanism that dictates our days, if we let it.

The soul, on the other hand, operates in Chairos, “a time of transcendence, time of the Soul, right-brained — when something magical happens”, Ashley writes. It is the place of no expectations, of silence and of extraordinary love. No wonder I couldn’t force a faster result as my soul limped along. It cried out in so many ways that I ignored until it got so loud, I had to screech to a halt and step outside time altogether.

That’s when the healing process began.

Have you ever stepped out of time? Maybe you stopped looking at your watch so much, or you entered a state of flow in which you leave a conscious state of temporality for a little while as you exercise your creative muscle. Or perhaps you fell in love and that dopamine-enriched state left you breathless, speechless, and yes, timeless. It could even be that you fell out of love, or someone fell out of love with you, and your soul need to extract itself from the mess of it all.

That can take a whole lot of Chairos indeed.

Life presents us with many opportunities to dance between these two concepts of time. We mustn’t ever forget that Chairos exists too. The Power of Slow resides there the most as we honor our process and our pace to the end of our days.

May you take a moment to bathe in the beauty of soul time today. It is my wish for you.

It really is.

Google Head

It was an innocent mistake. Really. And I swear I’m a good listener. Except when I’m not.

At lunch the other day, my son was trying to explain the latest video game that has captured his attention. He mumbled something about Zombie Apocalypse, only I heard sun eclipse, which prompted me to correct him with “solar eclipse” and a lengthy explanation about planetary movement and how the sky goes dark when the moon passes between the sun and the Earth.

My son patiently waited for me, wannabe astronomist that I am, to finish my in-depth scientific explanation before he said: “Talking to women is like doing a Google search. You put in one word and bam! 1,000,000 search hits come up immediately.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He’s right. We hear one word, then we go off on a million different explanations as to the why and where to. Our minds work like that. In my experience, women tend not to be so linear in their thinking. We analyze, synthesize and sympathize, all while cooking a great meal for, well, everyone.

And all he wanted was to tell me about some video game to which I had absolutely no reference.

Therein lies the problem, perhaps, in the communication between Mars and Venus. I don’t know about you, but I’m helpless in a conversation if I don’t have a point of reference. My eyes glaze over and I’m completely lost. Sometimes I make up my own reference just to keep up in the conversation. But I know it’s a reality of my own making.

It’s Google Head at its best. As a wordsmith, I get a million hits a second in my mind, all begging for attention whenever I hear a snippet of conversation, experience something extraordinary, or talk with my eleven-year-old son whose patience with me is remarkable.

Taking time to truly listen is an art form I am doing my best to perfect. I have a ways to go. Thank God for Google. Now that’s a place to find reference when all else fails.

The Liberation Closure Can Bring

“Closure, when you can get it, is so powerful and liberating,” a friend posted on Facebook this morning.

She is so right.

closureLissa Coffey penned a book entitled Closure that I had the pleasure of reviewing a few years ago. She talks about the importance of tying up loose ends, ending what you have begun and honoring the evolutionary process that is our life by gaining a sense of completion for things that no longer serve us.

She goes beyond the conversation of grief, although that is a great part of any ending, to discuss what possibilities lie in endings, which are only beginnings of a new phase. But before we can look to the horizon, we must look to the ground beneath our feet and understand where we are before we can get to where we are going.

Successfully finding closure is indeed as liberating as the first decision you take to make a real change in your life. It involves a process, and each of us goes through that process in our own time.

When we bring things to a close, only then are we truly free to start something new. Otherwise, the dregs of that experience cling to the bottom of our glass, half-full or half-empty, until we deal with it once and for all.

Much like the shadow, of which I recently spoke, we must embrace every component of our lives. It is what makes us who we are.

And who we are, when we really see ourselves, is pretty magnificent.

Believe me when I say: Who you are makes a difference. You really do.

The Spark of the Shadow

Go to the light, the self-help books say. Dance in brightness, live your spark, seek the goodness in all things.

And yet, when we go to the light, our shadows follow us. Wherever there is light, there are shadows.

Our shadow selves are the dark sides of our being. We are scared of their potential. They remind us of our fallibility, vulnerability and aptness to fall into deception of our inner truth.

At the same time, our dark sides can teach us a lot. They speak of our fears and of the worst possible scenarios that could inhabit us if we let them take the upper hand.

But what if we were to embrace our shadows as a very real part of ourselves. What if we were to be grateful for the information they give us?

Not many of us see the beneficial nature of those deep, dark places within. But they are as worthy of our attention as the light side of ourselves. Believe it or not, when you befriend that dark space inside, you will neutralize the very things you fear so much.

Besides, most of the shadow lives in our heads.

We assume, for instance, that people will respond a certain way to our so-called bad news as if we, the deliverer of the news itself, are somehow bad too.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

For when we live in truth and in recognition of both dark and light, others’ fears are eased as well.

Being honest can be hard because our minds tell us we shouldn’t burden others with our truth.

Yet when you stand in that truth, it grants others the freedom to do the same. It gives them permission to acknowledge their own shadow selves instead of living in constant denial that they exist.

Everyone carries a dark side. Our shadows are proof that we are here. That we are real. That everything in life has two sides.

Hug your shadow. Love it for all it is worth. It is a part of you and worthy of your recognition. Denying it is like trying to cancel your existence.

And that, my dear friends, would be a shame indeed.

Time to Quit

When you hear the word “quit”, what do you really hear?

Is it a term that is full of derision, disgust, disrespect?

Or it is a word that means more than that?

“Don’t be a quitter!” It seems to be synonymous with “loser”. But perhaps there is more to the meaning of the word than that.

In my most recent alumnae magazine, Smith, I read stories about women whose lives had taken a turn. One young woman turned down a full scholarship for a PhD program in psychology so she could pursue her blossoming career as the member of a punk band. Another eighty-year-old alumna left her church of many years because it was no longer working for her spiritual practice. A third stopped her rat race track toward neuroscience to fulfill another side of herself as a computer programmer.

We all know how hard it is to swim against the tide, but if your heart is shouting at you in the form of ocean-deep discontent, it may be time to listen.

Life offers us many choices. Sometimes we have to take the road less traveled because it is our unique path.

In my experience, however painful it may be to make a decision that is deemed less than popular, we find our true selves, our true calling, the truest  purpose that fulfills us beyond measure.

Although each woman’s story was different, they shared a common feeling of anxiety by staying the course they had originally planned for themselves. Something felt off. They didn’t know why. But they knew something had to change.

So each of them embarked on a personal odyssey to find what was most important to them. They showed courage. And they were happier for it.

Sometimes we have to sacrifice short-term happiness for long-term joy.

“Calling it quits doesn’t mean you’ve made a mistake,” says Tracy Glazer Essayan, Class of 1984 (Smith College). “It means the wisdom you’ve gained from all your experiences is suggesting a new direction.”

When you shift directions, you may not “win” in the eyes of society. But your heart will know the difference and, in the end, you will win back the life you were meant to live.

In a recent conversation with an award-winning war correspondent, he assured me that we are living longer than ever so the probability of major life changes is much higher than even a few decades ago when our life expectancy was much shorter.

“Those who keep on their original path may be safer,” he told me, “but I bet you anything they won’t be happier than those who shift with the tides of their calling.”

He has seen forty wars in his lifetime. I believe him.

This is your life. This is your time. How are you going to spend it?

Made it through the Rain

It’s time to be honest. I am going to out myself.

I was a Barry Manilow fan as a kid.

You got it.

I loved him.

Would have died for him.

But what was a rural tween to do other than to make up dance steps to his songs and pretend he was singing them to me?

I once made up a dance to “I Made It Through the Rain” for a talent contest. Halfway through the performance, I completely forgot the choreography and had to wing it for another unbearable three minutes. I was on the cusp of puberty, getting familiar with the sting of embarassment whenever I did something I perceived as horribly wrong.

But somehow I made it through the dance.

And now, all these years later, I think back to that fighting moment in which all eyes were on me and I had no idea what I was doing. I had to make it up as I went along.

I think my love for Barry got me through. And perhaps a steely resolve that what my heart says speaks much louder than the voice of reason.

I recently made it through the rain again. My mother calls it ‘bounce’. Resilience is indeed what gets us to the other side of things.

And you know what? When you survive the downpour that life offers you, the sun seems to shine a little brighter and you feel, maybe only for a moment, that perhaps, like Barry’s heartfelt sonorous vibe, that sun is shining for you.

Meditation Mountain

Life works when I meditate.

Life doesn’t when I don’t.

Meditation is kind of a scary thing for a lot of people. But when you start a meditation practice, it frees your mind like nothing else.

Meditation doesn’t have to be om-ing your way through an hour of silence. It can be a walk in Nature, a moment of reflection or the solitude of simply being with yourself.

At the beginning it may be hard to silence your mind. A million thoughts scamper through your brain as you think about all the things you should be doing instead of sitting comfortably with your eyes closed.

I recently took the 21-day meditation challenge with Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. It was marvelous. I managed to do all the meditations, sometimes not in order and not every single day. But I will tell you this: when I did not meditate on any given day, I felt it. My mind felt cluttered, heavy and drained.

Meditation clears the mental detritus. It simply feels good.

Take a moment today to simply breathe, if only for five minutes. Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel everything. After some practice, you will be able to slip into the lightness of being that meditation can bring any time you want.

It’s worth it. You will see.