Sometimes “Why?” is the Wrong Question
Ever since I was a kid, lying feverishly on the couch watching episodes of the Price is Right during a mid-week cold, I’ve wanted to be on a game show. Just once. To stand behind the glittery podium, hopping up and down with my name tag flapping to the beat of my own excitement.
Call me crazy, but it’s really been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember.
Today I’m going to a casting for a quiz show. It took a bit of effort to get my team of three together. One team member is coming as far as four hours away by train. A complete stranger who is staying at my house so we can earn the chance to stand tall in the contestant’s circle. Another is a good actor friend of mine who said she’d do it if I do it. Our other friend didn’t get casted for it so we aren’t hopeful we will be either.
But who cares, you know? The question isn’t why we are doing it. We simply are. And that’s enough.
Oftentimes we overanalyze things, press ourselves for answers, demand a rational response to a feeling, an intuition, an inner voice whisper. There is no why. It just is.
It’s a liberating thought to accept our impulses as equally worthy of our attention as a carefully thought-out plan. We needn’t control every last detail of our day. Sometimes allowing for the unfolding of things is what is necessary. And it takes courage to let go and let be and let live.
Place yourself in a situation in which you needn’t ask why. Allow the answer to be “Just Because”. How does it feel?
Mark PetruzziMarch 21, 2012 at 10:51 am
This is probably one of those few times when I am going to respectfully disagree (slightly)—at least in the context you are describing.
When it comes to desires and choices, I believe there is always a “why” and it’s beneficial to know it.
In this case, I would challenge you and your friend that if you can’t find a “rational” reason to go for something, then go for what some might think (not me) is an irrational one: just because it is fun!
When we do things just because their fun, and we know we are doing them just because they’re fun, and we stop there, and don’t have to have any other explanation—now that’s good. Doing so can add to our sense of self-value.
By honoring our sense of fun, and the fact that we have nothing to prove to anyone, we are saying: “I’m worth this bit of ‘just for the fun of it.’” And….AND…. AND… when we go back to our more “serious” pursuits, were all the more refreshed by and strengthened by our adventures.
Hope you’re well!
powerofslowMarch 21, 2012 at 11:16 am
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Mark. Why, in my view, is the wrong question because there are more powerful questions we can ask ourselves such as “Is this contributing to my well-being?” , “Am I harming anyone in my pursuit of this activity?” etc. We often ask “Why,” which leads to self-doubt. Fun is a great reason to do something; I was trying to get at our limiting beliefs about ourselves and that sometimes it’s okay to say “just because!” or even, “Why not?”! 🙂
Mark PetruzziMarch 21, 2012 at 11:30 am
Ha! Love your comeback! I use questions like you suggest daily, and suggest them to my clients as well. They yield meaningful answers, and bring our conscious focus to aligning inner and out lives. Safe travels!