The Heart of the Matter

The blessings of friendship are never more apparent than when you are going through tough times. Perhaps it is my rather Puritan upbringing that suggested doing things on my own without outside help was somehow noble and showed character, but as I discovered the power of slow, I realized doing things on one’s own all the time is really tiring.

We can all use a little help from our friends.

Every one of us is here to learn certain things. Some of us need to learn patience (me included!); others need to learn persistence or honesty or integrity. And when we stray for the lesson plan, Life has a way of bringing us back on track whether we like it or not.

In this lifetime I am learning the importance of asking for help. A consummate people pleaser, I used to think that being perfect and giving more than my fair share would somehow guarantee a place in people’s hearts. Oh it did, alright. But oftentimes it was in the hearts of those who weren’t good for me. Because people who are attracted to those who please are usually those who liked to be pleased without pleasing back. Makes sense, right?

So what is a people pleaser to do?

Here comes the fun part.

Direct the attention you typically shower on others on yourself. It feels weird at first to actually give yourself that level of kindness, but let me tell you this: it feels so good.

If you can make others feel good, you are certainly capable of doing that for yourself. Sometimes it just takes a little practice.

You are amazing. Your heart is bigger than the sea. You are noble and good and beautiful.

Who you are makes a difference.

If you doubt me, think about the friends who are in your life. Their lives would be poorer if you weren’t in it. Not because you please them, but simply because you exist.

You matter.

You really do.

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