The Story of a Perfectionist Junkie

Once upon a time there was a girl who only felt alive when she succeeded at something. She sought praise wherever she could. She only felt love when she did something ‘right’. She was looking for external reward to fill the hole inside herself. She thought if she tried hard enough, she would be okay and the world might not see the cracks she tried so hard to hide.

She acquired a case of trophies, awards and accolades. She received honors and rewards and public recognition. She thought she was living her life to the fullest until one day she saw it was all a façade.

Sitting at a pizza parlour with an old friend, she was asked how she was doing ~ really. She smiled and said, “Oh I’m just fine. I have nothing to complain about.” Her old friend sighed, wishing she would finally take off that mask of hers. The girl went home with an odd sense that she had let her friend down. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized she was the one letting herself down.

It took another few years of denials and smiles before she came to the realization that she was not happy at all. It took extreme situations and a huge dash of insanity for her to make her world right again.

She embarked on a journey that took her to places far and wide. She traveled on airplanes and trains and buses, picking up pieces of herself that she had left there long ago.

And when she returned home, she saw her world with new eyes. It was time to start from the beginning, pull off the mask of perfection once and for all, and to look at herself in the mirror.

What she saw was the most beautiful smile, a lofty spirit who had come into her own. She had had to cast off her desire to be perfect and assume a willingness to get messy, really messy. To risk everything so she could finally live her truth.

She went through that ring of fire to her deepest awareness and what she discovered was a light so bright she knew she had survived. More friends came to the surface to help her through, to tell her they loved her for who she was ~ imperfection and all.

Life isn’t perfect. Neither are you. But people love you exactly for that reason.

Be true to yourself. Dare to be different. Trust in your singular magnificence. Always.

1 Comment

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